I’ve always been a music girl (well, rock-n-roll girl in particular). I’ve been aware of pop music, classic rock, and other genres since I was a kid. I’m a pretty eclectic music fan. I grew up on John Denver, Neil Sedaka, Oak Ridge Boys and a variety of 60s hits my mom and dad played. I listened to the late 70s pop hits played on the radio. I listened to my aunt and uncle’s records they stored at my grandparents house. I memorized the words to the entire Grease soundtrack, popular when I was young. At that time, our record player was in our kitchen, and I’d play a record and dance around, belting out all of the lyrics. This is a fond childhood memory of mine and is probably why I feel like the kitchen should be a warm and welcoming center of activity in any home.
I started my own record collection at a young age, with my first musical selection being Shaun Cassidy. I loved him! I bought his first record at my grandpa’s Ben Franklin store, and I’d play that record on repeat and sing. When I was six years old, my grandparents got me four tickets to go to the Shaun Cassidy concert in Wichita as my Christmas gift. My parents and my two year old sister and I all journeyed to the concert. Shawn started singing, and I burst into tears. In my memory, it was my six year old self sobbing as if the Beatles themselves were playing. If you played “Da Doo Ron Ron” right now, it would take me right back to this particular era of my childhood. Shaun taught me early on that I loved a good concert — thousands of people letting go of insecurities, singing and dancing and sharing the joy of music.
Since then, I have realized that music sets people free. It inspires. It gets people out of their heads and lets them cut loose. Live music, in particular, can sometimes feel like “church” when you’ve got a crowd of people all singing an artist’s songs, swaying to the music, enjoying life and feeling uplifted. (I’m thinking U2 in Kansas City in 2017. Amazing!) This shared experience is what has always drawn me in. Recently, I experienced this again — this time at a Cyndi Lauper concert.
When I was in Middle School, Cyndi Lauper was my jam. I had her album She’s so Unusual, and I knew all the words to every song on the album. (This was back in the day when we listened to a whole album instead of cherry picking a few songs.) I would hole up in my room and listen to my records, especially this one. I’d belt out “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” as if it were my own personal anthem. Perhaps it was and is. When I hear these songs today, I am transported back to my 12 year old self — shy, insecure, but brought to life through music. Cyndi’s songs transport me back to when I had a crush on a boy named Mark, I teased Mr. Beye every day in Science class, I hung out with Michele and Kristyn on the weekends. I have a very strong tie to Cyndi Lauper in particular, although all pop music in the 80s (and beyond) has had this effect on me. Albums and songs connect me to specific times in my past.
Fast forward to my child-rearing years. My husband and I are both huge music nerds, and we exposed our kids to a lot of different kinds, especially the music of our youth. At some point along the way, my daughter Ally found Cyndi Lauper. It could have been through Spotify or on a car ride with me. Either way, she and I would be riding around in the car, belting out “True Colors” or “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and enjoying life. Ally shared my love of music, and some of our best times were spent simply driving around and singing.
In 2020, Ally died. She’d fought glioblastoma for nearly 3 ½ years. We had a lot of songs we loved to listen to together — songs that when they are played today bring me back to my days of parenting Ally and spending time with her. We both liked “Walking on Sunshine,” ”Here Comes the Sun,” “Raise your Glass,” and of course “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” It was sort of our mantra. We loved to live our lives doing fun things together, singing, dancing, laughing, and just hanging out. We even had “moves” to some of our favorite songs, which thinking about it today, may not have been all that safe when we were in the car! When I hear our favorite tunes, I think of Ally. Sometimes these songs make me sad, but usually they make me smile and feel grateful for these good times.
Now back to Cyndi Lauper. A few months ago, I went to a Cyndi Lauper concert with my friends Cheri and Kristy. I was so excited as I had never seen Cyndi live before, and like I said, she was my middle school jam. Prior to the concert, I’d done a little costume planning. I bought a t-shirt and cut off the neck to make it an off the shoulder, 80s sort of tee. I dug out my bright palette of eye shadow so I could paint my eyes in three colors like Cyndi sometimes did. I found some old Converse hightops, and I added some colorful hair strands to my hair to complete the look. I was excited — almost as giddy as I was in high school and going to a concert with my friends!
When we got to the concert and parked, I perused the crowd of concert-goers. I figured Cyndi would draw an interesting crowd, and I was not disappointed. There were tons of middle-aged moms just like me wearing 80s retro outfits. There were kids. There were older folks. There were men wearing kilts. There were twenty-somethings who, like Ally, had also discovered Cyndi’s music. It was a crazy, fun mish-mash of people and outfits and hair colors. It was a rock-n-roll Love Fest of sorts.
I was nervous that I’d cry when Cyndi took the stage — that my memory of Ally and I driving around town, heads bobbing to Cyndi’s songs would make me sad. However, as Cyndi came out and began to sing, I only felt joy. In the middle of the show, the moon came out and was framed beautifully by clouds. I took this as a nudge from Ally saying, “Mom, I’m here too! Let’s rock out!”
So I belted out all of the favorite songs of my youth, but especially the songs Ally and I used to sing in the car. I danced, and I hugged my friends. I enjoyed the muggy summer night with a hoard of strangers who, for ninety short minutes, felt like friends. I let the music wash over me and fill me up. And at the end of the night, Cyndi’s music brought me right back to 2017, in my white RAV4, running errands with Ally and singing these words:
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Are beautiful…like a rainbow
In a way, these songs let me preserve pieces of Ally — nearly tangible and treasured memories of time spent with my sweet girl. That’s what songs do for me; they provide a soundtrack to my life. Even when the people I love are gone, I still have memories of them captured through songs; I still have the pure joy these songs bring.
Crysta Hudson-Baier’s Extraordinary Playlist (in no particular order)
- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
- Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield
- They Don’t Know by Tracy Ullman — This song makes me think about Rich and how people used to think our relationship was a little unusual because of our playful banter.
- Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver — My dad once told me a story about this song, and I cry (and usually call my dad) every time I hear it.
- Calendar Girl by Neil Sedaka — This was one of my mom’s favorites. We listened to it in our kitchen in our house on Ohio Street.
- I Want to Hold your Hand by The Beatles — This was on the first Beatles record that I ever bought with my own money.
- Hopelessly Devoted by Olivia Newton-John — Elementary school Crysta used to skate around in our unfinished basement on Money Street and pretend to be Sandy, heartbroken over Danny Zuko.
- I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 — This song reminds me to always keep seeking.
- Just Like Heaven by The Cure
- Fallen Angel by Poison
- 18 and Life by Skid Row
- Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles — This song expresses one of my deepest beliefs — that things eventually get better. The sun eventually reappears.
- In My Life by The Beatles — This is probably my 2nd favorite Beatles song. I want this song played at my celebration of life.
- Country Roads by John Denver
- Shake it Off by Taylor Swift
- Longview by Green Day
- These Days by the Foo Fighters
- Free to Decide by The Cranberries — This was my drive to work/girl power anthem my first five years of teaching. I still listen to it when I need a boost.
- California Stars by Billy Bragg and Wilco — Rich recently turned me on to this song, and it just brings me joy. The lyrics were written by Woody Guthrie and later set to music. If you have not heard it, go immediately to Spotify and listen.
- Amish Paradise by Weird Al — I mean, what can I say? I have loved Weird Al since the 80s. His shows never disappoint.
- Pink Pony Club by Chapell Roan
- Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift
- It’s Tricky by Run DMC
- Imagine by John Lennon
- Don’t Let me get Me by Pink
Crysta Clear 